Slayterbox1748

On the 8 hour flight back from London, I found myself in a desperate situation — with an iPod on low battery and having forced myself through The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 and A Journey to the Center of the Earth, I needed something to bring me back to reality (and certainly a break from bad Brendan Frazier movies). This is when I discovered SkyMall.

 The Indoor Dog Restroom / $149.00

That tagline mnight as well read: “Did you buy a dog and realize you weren’t ever going to be around to take care of it? If so, buy this green thing for it to piss on.” Little known fact - this product works just as well for humans.

The 40′ Marshmallow Bazooka / $49.95

Only in SkyMall will you find the 40′ Marshmallow Bazooka. Though I was initially excited by this breakthrough in modern weaponry, I was a bit disappointed to read that the bazooka can only launch 5 marshmallows per minute. How on Earth are we supposed to protect ourselves with marshmallows if the damn thing isn’t at least semi-automatic? Maybe if the bazooka came with some sort of toasting mechanism to shoot flaming marshmallows…

SkyMall is genius. It’s a catalogue full of random, semi-practical appliances and other crap that, after watching two really bad Brendan Frazier movies, can make you feel like a human being again.

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