Slayterbox1748

We’re pretty sure you haven’t been living under a rock all week, but we felt it was necessary to acknowledge the on-going brilliance that is the love between Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman.

So who do think is more jealous: Matt Damon or Sarah Silverman?

We’ve always thought about making out own viral video, but we couldn’t really put a finger on (or in) exactly what we should produce.

Until now.

Thank you Kevin Nalts, Your list of viral video essentials has inspired us.

“Target 10 million views.  Anything less, and you’re a friggin’ wimp.”

SO TRUE. 

Other Boxworthy Items:

…Hillary Clinton is ticked off, and she wants everyone to know.  In this week’s debate on MSNBC, Hillary made light of an SNL skit and came just short of whining about the media’s apparent preference for Barack Obama.

Political pundits can spin this all they want as a positive for Hillary, but when you give the starving pit bull that is The Daily Show a big piece of meat…well, they’re going to devour that shit. 

…Scion has launched a nifty new site called “Stomping Grounds” that is currently featuring Biz Markie.

Watching Biz stroll around Harlem is probably the last thing that would convince us to buy a car.  Let’s hope Scion did their research here…

…Michael Bloomberg is not running for President.  We think there might be, like, six people over @ Gawker that care.  We’re not saying The Mayor wouldn’t have made a good President; but after all that has gone on over the past 2 months, wasn’t this a forgone conclusion?

…We wrote on Tuesday that producers of WebTV Shows should get excited about the success of Quarterlife, specifically its debut this week on NBC.

Well, we probably spoke too soon… 

As it turns out, ~3.9 million people watched the debut.  That sounds like a lot until you realize that Jerhico, a show we have NEVER seen, gets nearly 7 million viewers each week.

(Insert your own punny/ironic Quarterlife-is-dead joke here).

We have to skidaddle shortly to go snort blow Nicorette Gum with Ann Coulter.

That, of course, is assuming that we can’t get an audience with our hero Will Leitch of Deadspin.com.

Tuesdays are, generally speaking, our least favorite day of the week.  So, we’re going to spice it up today.  The spice?  Glad you asked. A very special video from the Tubes…just for you.

You may not know our friend Jim yet, but you’ll feel like you do after you watch this fantastic display of athleticism.  Two words: “ability” and “personality.”  Indeed.  Not to mention, Jim makes Tim Green look like a no-talent hack!

Boxworthy Items:

Nielsen is having issues with rating things other than TV.  Hmmm…weird.  We won’t wonder aloud about why this is… (New York Times)

Ya know that WebTV show you’ve been working on?  Well, here’s a glimmer of hope for you!  Quarterlife airs tonight on NBC.  Let us know how it is, we probably won’t watch. (USA Today)

Like it could suck more to live in Pakistan.  You’ve got Osama Bin Laden (maybe) hanging out in your backyard, American troops are across the way in Afgahnistan, and, well, you get the point.  And now there’s this: No more YouTube!  Seriously, Pakistan?  C’mon.  (New York Times)

Amazing T-Shirts, if you can get afford ‘em. (Experience Curve)

Um, Yup.

Ok, picture this:

• You’re a 38 year-old African-American college dropout.

• You once made a living as a bodyguard for a pornography production company and participating in underground street fights

• You have a son named “Kevlar.” Yes, the stuff DuPont invented to make bulleproof vests.

Who are you? You’re Kimbo Slice.

Even YOU can hop on the fast running pony that is the digital content world…and you did, yes you did.

In the words of Tibor from Eurotrip: “I love America!”

Daisy Whitney points us in the direction of “WWKD?” (What Would Kimbo Do?), a new piece of content that is all the buzz over @ Break.com.

We’re legitimately excited for the Congressional Hearings on steroid use in Extreme Cage Matches.

If nothing else, it sure does go to show that the formula for 1 million hits can be put together in MANY different ways…and it’s still a bit of a mystery…

…with one exception.

Other Boxworthy Items:

The Savvy Market’s Test. More like how much crappy advertising to you consume? (Cramer Sweeney)

Get ready for several hours of beauty ads @ the Oscars. Apparently people care again now that the WGA Strike is over… (NYT)

We’ve been told that we are a little late on this find. It’s true, we do LOVE our expensive sandwiches. Thanks to our Furry Friend in NJ for this. (Stuff White People Like)

It might not even take three years. It may have already happened.

The other day we tried to click through to a news article and were brought to a Toyota website so that we could customize our own Corolla.

There wasn’t even a re-direct button or a “skip this ad” option.

No, no. We need to buy a freakin’ car to read out news now. First of all, if you’re buying a Corolla, what’s the point in even customizing it? It’s freakin’ Toyota Corolla.

Second of all, we weren’t trying to buy a car, we were just trying to read a news article about John McCain’s cheatin’ heart.

This annoyed the hell out of us (The Toyota Ad, not John McCain’s heart).

And then THIS! Ugh. Freakin’ Google. Apparently we’re going to have to watch pre-roll and violator videos over ALL YouTube videos very soon.

At least ad agencies will get to keep making 30 second spots once Tivo kills Television! Yay!

In all seriousness, how annoying is it going to be to surf the internet once EVERY site makes you watch a commercial before consuming each piece of content?

While this will be extremely bothersome, it will also significantly increase the amount of time we spend perusing the interwebs.

We enjoy our Gmails and powerful search engines, but someone needs to put an end to Google’s reign of video terror!

Where is Gary Coleman when you need him?

You can get one, too.

Two Boxworthy Items On A Slow Hump Day:

Tylenol’s latest campaign is a bit wrinkly, we like it. (AdRants)

No one watches TV commercials anymore. We needed research to tell us this. Seriously. Before we had Tivo we used to do productive things during TV commercials were, like make bologna sandwiches, feed the dog, and sometimes we even went pee. Now we just hold it, but we still don’t watch the ads. (ADWEEK)

And for your totally random Wednesday video experience, we bring you Ronald Jenkees:

In our journey around the internets today, we ran into and interesting post @ Brand Autopsy that takes a look @ Seth Godin’s new book, Meatball Sunday. Surprisingly this isn’t a book about Christopher Street @ 3am on a Sunday evening. No, no, it’s about marketing.

The meatballs are the foundation, the things we need (and sometimes want). These are the commodities that so many businesses are built on.

The sundae toppings (hot fudge and the like) are the New Marketing, the social networks, Google, blogs and fancy stuff that make people all excited.

The challenge most organizations face: try to mix them. They attempt to slap new marketing onto old and end up with nothing but a failed website.

Sometimes we all need a writer to state the obvious for us. Besides, sometimes we confuse “driving B2C solutions” and “redefining cutting-edge web-readiness” in our quest to “exploit next-generation content.”

Our favorite nugget from the book is this one:

Taking this theme a step further, Daisy Whitney writes about the power of video blogging and the cross-pollination that exists between bloggers, eventually resulting in more eyeballs finding the aforementioned “something worth talking about.” Whether your name is Andy Plesser, Gary Vaynerchuk, Daisy Whitney, or Rhett and Link…the interaction that results from video blogging increases the value of your blog/content and eventually lines your pockets with MONEY. Ahhhhhhhh Money! Like Jackie Mason once said, “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love Money!”

So what happens to the vloggers, bloggers, content creators in question?

Andy gets consulting gigs.

Gary sells insane amounts of wine. ($50m in revenue last year)

Daisy gets to write (and travel)

Rhett and Link will no-doubt turn their 250,000+ YouTube Channel views into some cold hard cash.

In fact, word has it they made a little cash of this video:

This how vlogs and online content are monetized. The cash doesn’t show up out of thin air as a result of just posting content, it’s genuine interaction and the authentic interest in like-minded vloggers that is going to monetize this practice.

There are meatballs behind this tasty Slayter Box Sundae, baby.

Other Boxworthy Items:

Bud Light Spot that didn’t make the Super Bowl. Very funny. (AdLand)

Tom Petty has been killin’ it with digital music sales since his 12 minute performance @ the Super Bowl. Every young, hip, urban artist past/present/future can feel free to write Janet Jackson’s nipple a thank you card for the sales bump they will never see from a Super Bowl performance. (MarketingVOX)

It’s Showtime in your hotel room. So long as you’re staying in a Sheraton Hotel. (New York Times)

iTunes is partnering with FOX to provide exclusive American Idol tracks. (ADWEEK)

The latest from McCann for MasterCard. (CREATIVITY)

By special request from a bearded man on West 4th Street, a Verizon FiOS spot:

AWESOME.

Valentine’s Day Love Is Sweet.

But this is pretty hardcore:

Congress needs to check these futbol players for cattle steroids, as well their attendance at Jose Canseco’s pool parties. (CREATIVITY)

Kirshenbaum Bond + Partners just snagged the $60+ million allotted budget for AVON’s global fragreances. (ADWEEK)

That alternate universe that we once thought would truly exist…where the Pats are 19-0. (Deadspin)

We love minor league baseball, the WNBA NBADL, and even AHL hockey…so why not add Minor League Television into the love mix? (ThirdWay)

We knew it was only a matter of time before Hillary caught the Barack Obama FEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVER!

Psyop wishes you and yours a Happy Valentine’s Day. We love the VHS or Beta track on this piece of art, and we wish they had chosen Beta so that we could watch Larry Bird’s epic battle versus ‘Nique…because we have it on freakin’ Beta tape. We are no going to go light our HD DVD collection on fire… (CREATIVITY)

Finally, a good argument against John Mellencamp. (Advertising For Peanuts)

A breakdown of brands: Barack vs. Billary. It’s funny how two people with, essentially, the same platforms can creative such a rift between one party. (Thirdway Blog)

Oscar Night is the New Super Bowl says Stuart Elliot. We say the Daytona 500 is the new Super Bowl. Oscar night may compete in ad buy dollars, but the who wants to watch beauty spot, after fashion spot, after beauty spot…??…blech. Give us slap stick comedy and barfing babies! (New York Times)

Four Valentine’s Day videos to watch alone. (Gawker)

John Rocker is insane. (Deadspin)

We’re outta here for food, wine, and love LOST.

Happy Contrived Holiday, Ladies and Gentlemen! (Look on the bright side, it’s good for the economy).

The writers strike is finally over.

Can’t wait to do it all over again in 3 years!

You can get totally updated @ TV Week’s WGA Strike Central and Stuart Elliot talks with media planners/buyers about the outlook for the rest of this season and moving forward.

But if you just want a candid take from a writer who is friends with lots of writers, read what ESPN’s Bill Simmons has to say:

A three-year deal that looks a lot like the DGA deal that was banged out without a strike. My only question/hesitation is this: What happens when the deal ends? Do we just go through this whole debacle again? There’s no way the writers can make up in residuals over the next three years what they just lost in three-plus months of striking, so I’m guessing the “success” here is that the writers are on the books with a certain level of entitlement to DVD and Internet residuals for the next time negotiations unfold. But what if Hollywood says after three years, “Crap, we gave too much away the last time” and puts the screws down again. Then what? Where are the assurances this can’t happen again? I still don’t see how it was worth it to give away three-plus months of paychecks so Hollywood could save itself billions from bad deals and reconfigure the way it approaches upfronts and pilot season. But what do I know?

Let’s just hope that LOST is over by then…

Real Interactive Advertising

This piece of advertising excellence comes to us from Adverblog.

We have a feeling this could get dangerous if the opposing fan decided to show up?

Soap on a rope is never NOT funny.

But we’re not sure it sells cars.

Liquid soap can’t go on a rope.

The latest from W+K for Old Spice

Finally, the strike that should have happened in 2010 is over*!

So the WGA strike is over, according to Michael Eisner.  This is good news for everyone who enjoys TV…especially LOST.

Quite frankly, we can add very little insight that isn’t already in the ether.  So we’ll just say that we’re happy about this recent development, and we will get over the fact that online videos and blogs like “Fire Joe Morgan” aren’t going to be as funny once they no longer have “real” writers creating the content.

*pending the WGA actually approving the alleged “handshake” agreement.

A Smart 5th Grader Could Do This Job: Steve Stoute Addition:

We were surprised when Steve Stoute sold Translation Marketing for $10m-$15 to IPG.  Color us surprised again, as word is coming out that Stoute and his biz partner, Jay-Z, are now launching Translation Advertising.  

Man, we’d like to know where they came up with such a cool original name…

Gawker shares our opinion that this is just another case of Stoute hustling “The Man” for millions of dollars that probably don’t need to be spent.   Exploiting the youth through urban marketing is pretty formulaic.

An accurate summary of what Jay-Z will be doing on a day to day basis for the agency is “nothing.” Or as the New York Times puts it, he will “offer his creative and entrepreneurial ideas.” An accurate summary of what Steve Stoute will be doing is, pretty much the same thing he was doing before. Which is to say, sitting in a meeting room with white business executives and making them feel cool enough to hand over hundreds of thousands of dollars to him. Now that Jay-Z is in-house, Stoute can just point across the room to signal his strategic branding ideas.

When we were 10 years old, we knew damn well that Ken Griffey Jr. could have sold sand to an Arab, ice to an Eskimo and steroids to Roger Clemens.  Identifying an effective, celebrated,  honest spokesman is not that freakin’ hard.

Basic Rules:

1. Stay away from child molesters, even alleged ones.  You don’t see Michael Jackson hawking Pepsi products for BBDO anymore, do you?

2. Stay away from guys who kill dogs and run illegal dogfighting rings.  No explanation needed here.

3. Pick someone who can excite every demographic, or at least be accepted by them.

It’s really not that hard.  We find it difficult to believe that pairing Gwen Stefani and Jay-Z with HP was the work of a genius.  So sorry.

Then again, if someone was paying us the big bucks to make these decisions…there’s NO WAY IN HELL we’re turning that money down.  Big up yo’self Steve!

Other Boxworthy Items:

Banner puzzles! This is pretty damn cool, we would now like to join the Swedish Armed Forces (BannerBlog)

Is your 9-5 becoming your 24/7? (Drew McLellan)

We said we were done talking about the Super Bowl.  We lied.  This sucks.

It turns out Mercury Morris was actually pretty damn good @ football.  That being said, it doesn’t make him any less of an insufferable, pouty jerk.  Even if the Pats didn’t win, we do like seeing him in this mirage of defeat.  Even if it is pure fantasy.
[youttube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaeF_mj8_sY]

The “Durrrrr” File: SalesGenie.com Edition:

And in the words of SalesGenie.com CEO, Vin Gupta, “Pandas are Chinese. They don’t speak German.”

Our questions is this: If the pandas are Chinese, why do they speak English?

Go ahead and throw SalesGenie.com’s spot in the pile, right next to last year’s Snickers and GM spots that were pulled after the Big Game.

If one NY agency had a spot pulled because it offended Southern Baptists this year, you’d think the censors would have flagged the spot that ticked off over a billion people…whoops!

Rehab Update:

Britney is out. Amy is out, but can’t get IN to the US of A. Kirsten Dunst is IN. Eva Mendes is out, but going back. Tara Reid got lost on her way. We think that about overs it…

Other Boxworthy Items:

A cool blog post on how companies change their logos and branding as they grow (TechCrunch)

The story of ADIDAS’ Adi Dassler (Adverblog)

AT&T is ramping up their broadband markets. This is great news for iPhone users…which we will be soon enough (Marketing VOX)

If you want to understand just how fucked we are when it comes to Global Warming, check out this TED Talk from Zipcar Founder, Robin Chase (TED Blog)

The Daytona 500 is becoming the second Super Bowl for advertising. With :30 spots going for +$550,000, FOX is making money hand over fist after selling its :30 Super Bowl spots for an average of $2.7m. Wowzer (ADWEEK)

And finally, the last thing we will write about the Super Bowl. Check out this story about a guy who used his Super Bowl ticket to get full access to the Giants’ victory parade, luxury buses, and locker room on Tuesday (Deadspin)

Now that the Super Bowl is over, we can get back to business as usual.

Just in case you’re interested, here’s next year’s RFP for each and every Super Bowl spot.

Note: Racism will NOT be a part of next year’s RFP. Sorry, Sales Genie.

Other Boxworthy Items:

We scoured the intertubes today for something interesting and unique.

What did we find?

1. More Super Bowl Post-Mortum

2. Super Tuesday Results & Commentary

3. Heidi Montag’s music video

Here’s a question to ponder on a slow hump day: Is Eli Manning the least-marketable Super Bowl MVP since Ray Lewis??

You may remember that Disney refused to ask Ray Lewis where he was going now that he had won the Super Bowl, and chose to use Trent Dilfer as their “I’m going to Disney World!” spokesman. Murderer or not, you know you’ve screwed up when you’re losing endorsement deals to TRENT DILFER.

I dare say, Eli Manning is Derek Anderson with a slightly better last name. If it weren’t for his brother, he would be another above-average QB in the NFL. Look @ the stats.

So Tom Brady had a case of the Tony Romo’s last night, as Gisele was in the stands @ University Of Arizona Stadium.  At least he’s wearing Red Sox hats again.

We’re tired of Tom-Gise.  We can’t even leave the house when they’re staying @ the model’s penthouse over on W11th!

We’re Patriots & Ravens fans over here, so we don’t have much to say about Super Bowl XLII.  We will not be attending the parade tomorrow.

If you’re team wasn’t in the most-watched Super Bowl EVER last night, you probably watched the game for one of two reasons:

1) You hate the Patriots.

2) You were interested in seeing what Madison Avenue would show us on advertising’s biggest public showcase.

With the average :30 spot going for $2.7m, one would presume that both clients and agencies might focus on putting their best foot forward.

ADWEEK’S Barbara Lippert notes, “Yes, in a year where there was decidedly less farting and groin bashing (staples of past big-game ads), we were instead rewarded with a refreshing dose of kindness.”

It’s true.  Aside from the good ol’ nipple-powered jump start, we can’t remember a fuzzier bunch of Super Bowl spots.

Lippert continues, “Sobe got lots of attention for the lizards and Naomi, and the Thriller dance was fabulous. But I could hardly tell that was Naomi Campbell – and again, Geico and Bud anyone? I will say the branding and signage in the stadium was great, so we now know that this is the Sobe lizard.”

We’re not ones to tear apart Super Bowl ads, because these spots are often touched by too many hands to be truly GREAT…especially in this post-9-11 Janet Jackson world we’re living in.  BUT…we have little tolerance for cultural shoplifting.  Not only did Sobe copy MJ’s Thriller Phillipine Prison Viral Video dance, they essentially took that and replaced the inmates with CGI lizards.  Lame.

Stuart Elliot had a similar take on the evening’s side show, his favorite spot?

“Anheuser-Busch parodied another 1970s film, “Rocky,” with a Clydesdale as Sylvester Stallone and a Dalmatian in the Burgess Meredith role. The spot, among the best of the night, was created by DDB Worldwide, part of the Omnicom Group.”

AOL Ranked the Top 10 Super Bowl Spots, with Budweiser’s “Rocky” coming in first.

Two of our personal favorites were the Tide’s “Interview” (Saatchi & Saatchi) and E*TRADE’s “Banking Baby” (Grey Group).

Also…we want to share a little nugget that did not air last night…

…The delivery boys @ Miller High Life re-cap last night’s spots in this 2 minute rant:

Excuse us for going a little Walter Sobchak when we heard that Ann Coulter would be supporting Hillary Clinton if John McCain gets the Republican nomination.

Apparently her and Rushie-Rush Limbaugh are all bent out of shape about the “liberal” McCain being the Republican front-runner.

“The government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo.” Yeah, Ann Coulter said that.

She also so eloquently noted, that “If Gore had been elected president, right now he would just be finding that last lesbian quadriplegic for the Special Forces team.” Our Uncle Jimmy was in the Special Forces…he was not a lesbian…We guess he wouldn’t have had a job if Gore had been elected.

That’s cute. We’re just waiting for the New York Times to throw their support behind the always-cheery Coulter. (HuffPo)

OK, enough Politics, on to Sex, Drugs and Football…

Other Boxworthy Items:

Size matters. How do you like your agency? Big? Small? Medium? (Advertising For Peanuts)

If you like it gentle and sweet, this year’s Super Bowl ads are for you. Apparently we don’t want to offend anyone…wait Carlos Mencia is still doing Bud Light spots? Nevermind. (New York Times)

Eva Mendes got hooked up as the CK spokesperson…and then checked into rehab. Similar things happened to use after partying with Cal-Dog this Summer in his Hampton’s Mega Mansion. (AdRants)

21 Sexiest Super Bowl spots as ranked by you…and Playboy Magazine (Playboy)

With a little nod to one of our favorite movies, Eurotrip, Sarah Silverman let’s Jimmy Kimmel know that she’s gettin’ busy with Matt Damon. (Defamer)

Our prediction for the big game?  Patriots 35 Giants 17